Author: qjoq.com

I appeared in court today. Judge was pretty impressed with my magic trick.

I’ve noticed that chess players always close doors behind them. It must be cause they don’t like draughts…

I was chatting up a bird in the pub last night. She said, “Do you know what I hate?” I said, “No, what?” She said, “Blokes like you”. I said, “I can’t help that, perhaps they think I’m a nice guy”.

I was invited to a party the other day, and the dress code was ‘smart-casual’. So I went as an oxymoron.

Since my wife drunkenly threw hot tea into my eyes, I haven’t been able to look at her in the same way.

I was walking along the beach when a hot blonde bird caught my eye. Women shouldn’t be messing around with fishing equipment.

Someone just posted this note through my letter box. E M G N I B B U R I think it’s rubbing me up the wrong way.

When I’m with you, I am yours. But without you I’m rs.

For sale: incomplete pack of playing cards, 2.50, No Jokers