“Woman dies after Faceboo …
“Woman dies after Facebook threat” I didn’t realise ‘The Social Network’ was an action movie.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Sky News: “Five arrested …
Sky News: “Five arrested over hit and run death of boy” Those lads just can’t keep out of trouble at the moment.
Continue ReadingWhen my wife caught me ch …
When my wife caught me cheating she said she would cut me a break. I only realised I’d misheard her when my car plummeted over the rivine.
Continue ReadingI always sleep in my clot …
I always sleep in my clothes. Every night my wife says “Get out of the laundry basket!”
Continue Readingwhats the difference betw …
whats the difference between my missus and my dog? my missus can bury a bone without getting her nose dirty
Continue ReadingI went for a job intervie …
I went for a job interview at the Hi Fi factory today. They turned me down.
Continue ReadingBP have commissioned my P …
BP have commissioned my PR firm to re-brand their oil spill as a new oceanic beauty spot. Sounds like a pretty slick move to me.
Continue Reading‘I’m being fraped!’ My gi …
‘I’m being fraped!’ My girlfriend put on her Facebook status. 37 likes! I think myself very lucky she accidently pressed that f.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the pr …
Did you hear about the proctologist who was too slow at his job? His boss told him to pull his finger out.
Continue ReadingI was smoking a joint at …
I was smoking a joint at school when I thought, “Why can’t I just have sandwiches?”
Continue ReadingThere’s something wrong w …
There’s something wrong with my new thimble. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Continue ReadingWhat comes before M? Jame …
What comes before M? James Bond at the wild MI6 Christmas party
Continue ReadingI always keep a spare key …
I always keep a spare key hidden under my rug. I’m less likely to lose my wig than my coat.
Continue ReadingWallaby: Noun: One who as …
Wallaby: Noun: One who aspires to be a kangaroo
Continue ReadingBehind every great man is …
Behind every great man is his woman. Behind every great woman is me with a mask and a knife.
Continue Reading