A tramp stopped me in the …
A tramp stopped me in the street and asked, “Any change?” Being a werewolf I advised him to hang on till the full moon, then he’d see plenty.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Sickipedia… The only we …
Sickipedia… The only website which I hover my finger over F5 after opening
Continue ReadingWent into a boat repair y …
Went into a boat repair yard this morning. “Excuse me but can you repair my rubber dinghy? ” I asked the man. “Why certainly sir.” He replied ” It’s no hardship.”
Continue ReadingI was at death’s door las …
I was at death’s door last night. I said, “Could I interest you in our fantastic range of double glazing, Mr Reaper?”
Continue ReadingI went to a car boot sale …
I went to a car boot sale this morning. I don’t know why, I’ve got a hatch-back.
Continue ReadingMy pet turtle has been tr …
My pet turtle has been trying to break dance on it’s back for three weeks now.
Continue ReadingMy wife has just told me …
My wife has just told me she wants to tie the knot. Which is great! I had no idea she was into S&M
Continue ReadingFool people into thinking …
Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.
Continue ReadingSo so happy, just got sto …
So so happy, just got stopped down the road by two lovely looking young girls who told me they was having bets on how old I was..One said I was 29 and the other said 32…I was that chuffed that I put 50 quid in their charity box, though to tell the truth I have […]
Continue ReadingI didn’t understand a sin …
I didn’t understand a single word that my new maths tutor said in my first lesson. He may as well have been talking sin language.
Continue ReadingMe and my Friend only und …
Me and my Friend only understand even numbers…what are the odds?
Continue ReadingSo Stephen Hendry has ret …
So Stephen Hendry has retired from Snooker. Clearing up a table was never a mans job.
Continue ReadingCashiers are always check …
Cashiers are always checking me out.
Continue ReadingA friendly midget working …
A friendly midget working in the crematorium? That’s a nice little urner.
Continue ReadingOut christmas shopping to …
Out christmas shopping today, I noticed the Josef Fritzl autobiography in WH Smith’s. Apparently, it’s not a big seller.
Continue Reading