Life insurance for cats O …
Life insurance for cats Offer. Buy 2, get 7 free.
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For a paedophile,revenge …
For a paedophile,revenge is sweets.
Continue ReadingI seen some doctors and n …
I seen some doctors and nurses out jogging two days before the annual medical staff half marathon. It must have been a practice run.
Continue ReadingI nicked an apple a banan …
I nicked an apple a banana and a plum from the maternity ward last night. Just enjoying the fruits of their labour.
Continue ReadingI was watching the Never …
I was watching the Never Ending Story earlier. It finished about half an hour ago…
Continue ReadingI’m on a mission to wipe …
I’m on a mission to wipe out all stores from a German multi-national supermarket chain. It will take a long time but I’ll do it – Lidl by Lidl.
Continue ReadingI bought a new concealer …
I bought a new concealer for my girlfriend today… Useless. My wife still saw her.
Continue ReadingAlternatively. “Or”, as i …
Alternatively. “Or”, as its less commonly known.
Continue ReadingFound a ginger hair in my …
Found a ginger hair in my beard this morning. Which is not good news. Especially as my ginger mate Dave stayed over. And it was a pubic hair.
Continue ReadingI didnt realise i had a b …
I didnt realise i had a broken wallet until finally one day… The Penny Dropped.
Continue ReadingI love to give homemade g …
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
Continue ReadingTwo cows are in a field o …
Two cows are in a field on a cold winter night. One cow says to the other, “I don’t know about you but I’m fresian”.
Continue ReadingJust had my provisional l …
Just had my provisional license confiscated for speeding. I’m a fast learner.
Continue ReadingI was sick of my work uni …
I was sick of my work uniform making me look as silly as possible, so I got a new job. I left Morrisons, and started working as a clown.
Continue ReadingHow many blind people doe …
How many blind people does it take to change a lightbulb? Well think about it, there wouldn’t be much point, would there?
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