Author: qjoq.com

I ran my wife over this morning. It was my fault really; I shouldnt have been driving in the kitchen.

I hate paedophiles. In fact, I hate them that much I actually grab all the kids in the playground and hide them in my van before the perverts can take pictures of them.

I just knocked on my neighbours door and said, “Have you got any condoms?” He said, “I’ve got piles.” I said, “Sorry to hear that mate, have you got any condoms?”