The word Elton John was a …
The word Elton John was actually having trouble with was “soiree”. He never did get it right.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
BBC News reported that Le …
BBC News reported that Leona Lewis and Sarah Jessica Parker have fired their agents. Both stars have apparently contacted a top European agency who say they are eager to take over the reins.
Continue ReadingI’m getting very close to …
I’m getting very close to breaking the world record for stacking chunks of beef, it’s getting nervous though, with every chunk I add the steaks are getting higher…
Continue ReadingMy mate text me yesterday …
My mate text me yesterday telling to meet him at half six. Well I turned up at three and he was three and a half hours late.
Continue ReadingIn the last twelve months …
In the last twelve months,the post office has recieved five million letters complaining about its service.As a result,it’s been able to anounce record annual profits.
Continue ReadingAdd on Facebook: “The Spa …
Add on Facebook: “The Spartan Workout. Learn how actors from the movie 300 gained muscle and got in shape fast, easy and free. Click here to learn more” I’ll save you the trouble, it’s called CGI.
Continue ReadingHistory. Or as it used to …
History. Or as it used to be called: the present.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend makes a mea …
My girlfriend makes a mean sandwich. They are very average.
Continue ReadingChemistry teachers make t …
Chemistry teachers make the best rapists. They always have the element of surprise.
Continue ReadingLast night I went to a be …
Last night I went to a belt party. Everyone got waisted
Continue ReadingMy mate was dying of canc …
My mate was dying of cancer so I decided to send him a get well soon card, but knowing the state of the royal mail I sent a sympathy card to his mum instead.
Continue Readingso, Harry Potter. a teena …
so, Harry Potter. a teenager that likes all things magic and mystical who grasps his wand all day. yeah there’s a new concept Rowling, here in the real world we call them ‘virgins’ – virgins who play World Of Warcraft.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t be bothered ge …
I couldn’t be bothered getting my son a costume for his dress up day at school today, so just told him to take the laptop with him. “How’s that dressing up?” my son asked. “Easy, just tell them your a pirate” I replied.
Continue ReadingI asked my therapist neve …
I asked my therapist never to tell anyone about my Oedipus complex. He said ‘sure, mum’s the word’.
Continue ReadingCame home and said to my …
Came home and said to my wife with a cheeky wink “Want to see something long and hard? It will keep you going for hours?” “Sure” came the reply with a lick of the lips. I handed her the guardian crossword and announced “Here, I’m off to the pub. Don’t wait up.”
Continue Reading