Puns about monorails alwa …
Puns about monorails always make for decent one-liners.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve had to make a lot of …
I’ve had to make a lot of cuts at work. I love being a surgeon.
Continue ReadingMy boss just called me in …
My boss just called me into his office. He said, “You’ve already had a verbal warning about your lateness and now I’m giving you a written warning. If you’re late again I promise that there will be no more warnings!” I’m going to purposely be late everyday next week, just to see if he keeps […]
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between philosophers and great minds? Philosophers like a think.
Continue ReadingI had some time to kill y …
I had some time to kill yesterday. So I went round to the mother-in-law’s.
Continue ReadingI’m going to the ‘Stop Du …
I’m going to the ‘Stop Ducks Quacking’ festival at the weekend. Some really tight bands on the bill.
Continue ReadingArchitects and politician …
Architects and politicians say windows are better than walls. Clearly they have not eaten sausages while trying to load vista.
Continue ReadingI’m never drinking with a …
I’m never drinking with average Joe again. He’s a mean drunk.
Continue ReadingI was bored so i blew up …
I was bored so i blew up my neighbours herb garden. I was killing thyme.
Continue ReadingIts unfortunate for me th …
Its unfortunate for me that people see me as a lover not a fighter… as I’m actually as much better fighter than I am a lover. For one thing, the fights usually last longer… …and also, I use my fists less.
Continue ReadingI was outraged yesterday …
I was outraged yesterday to find that facebook had suggested that my 12 year old son became a fan of Adolf Hitler. I immediately switched off his computer, beat him and sent him to bed without supper. I can’t believe he wasn’t already a fan.
Continue ReadingSo apparently it’s not al …
So apparently it’s not all bad news if you get killed by Voldemort. Instead, you can become a teen vampire with the power to make 13 year-olds fall in love with you.
Continue ReadingJust seen the latest John …
Just seen the latest John Terry incident I can’t help but feel there was no knee’d for it.
Continue ReadingA beggar asked me today i …
A beggar asked me today if I had any spare change. I told him that I was sorry and that I’d left it at home in my spare wallet.
Continue ReadingAnyone else think it’s a …
Anyone else think it’s a bit ironic that Tiger Woods’ sport of choice requires him to score as little as possible?
Continue Reading