A teaspoon of mince, 3 ki …
A teaspoon of mince, 3 kidney beans and 5 grains of rice. My mum made a mean chilli con carne.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I think I have spent too …
I think I have spent too much time on this site. I wasn’t on time for a meeting today and when I got there I apologised for my latency
Continue ReadingI always give 110% in my …
I always give 110% in my job. Which is why I was sacked from the examination board.
Continue ReadingI decided to organise a g …
I decided to organise a gang bang for some men with erectile dysfunction. Only two came.
Continue ReadingJust put the finishing to …
Just put the finishing touches to my new T.V show, ‘9 billion ways to die.’ Number 9 billion is ‘of old age, watching a pointless countdown show and realising you’ve wasted your life.’
Continue ReadingI’ve just got a new job i …
I’ve just got a new job in Field Marketing So far I’ve sold about 20 acres.
Continue ReadingMy wife wanted me to dona …
My wife wanted me to donate to the WWF and tried to persuade me by telling me a sob story about a soon to be extinct black and white bear. I’m not going to panda to that.
Continue ReadingMy Dad’s suggestion to fi …
My Dad’s suggestion to fight fire with fire turned out to be very bad advice indeed. I guess I should have learnt not to trust him after the incident where I used paper to defend myself from rocks.
Continue ReadingCondoms should be used in …
Condoms should be used in all conceivable occasions.
Continue ReadingI was mentally undressing …
I was mentally undressing this girl the other day when I thought to myself. This would be a lot easier without the straightjacket
Continue ReadingMy teammate went down aft …
My teammate went down after a very meaty challenge, he took a real stuffing and now is immobilised in hospital, a vegetable you might say. I still think he made a meal of it.
Continue ReadingMy wife is so fat, she ha …
My wife is so fat, she had to call the AA this morning to come and fix four flat tyres on her roller skates.
Continue ReadingEveryone says I have my m …
Everyone says I have my mother’s eyes… But until they find them it’s just another rumour.
Continue ReadingI’m a reformed time-piece …
I’m a reformed time-piece thief and putting clocks back was my counsellor’s idea.
Continue ReadingI said to a mate, “The do …
I said to a mate, “The doctor removed a tumour the size of a golf ball from my wife’s stomach once.” “Seriously? How did he get that out then?” “With a sand-wedge.”
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