How can you tell if your …
How can you tell if your girlfriend is too old? She’s started getting homework
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I feel sorry for the pers …
I feel sorry for the person who writes those Wikipedia pages. I bet teachers never accept his homework.
Continue ReadingHit me at 30, there’s an …
Hit me at 30, there’s an 80% chance I’ll live… Hit me at 40, there’s an 80% chance I’ll die… Obviously hitting middle age makes drivers much more vicious.
Continue ReadingMr. and Mrs. King were in …
Mr. and Mrs. King were in the hospital with their newborn baby. “What shall we name him?” she asked. “How about Joseph?” he replied. The nurse with the birth certificate looked at the baby and said: “You’ve got to be Joe King!”.
Continue ReadingWatching Children In Need …
Watching Children In Need has made me feel really proud of my contribution. Without me they wouldn’t have had half of those stories about abused kids.
Continue ReadingI bought at Enigma machin …
I bought at Enigma machine off eBay last week. I’m still trying to work the instructions out.
Continue ReadingI read a headline in the …
I read a headline in the news paper today ‘Tiger savages trainer’ I thought to myself, Tiger Woods is getting out of hand now first the cheating and now this.
Continue ReadingThe wife’s just told me t …
The wife’s just told me that for my birthday she’s ordered me a winch driven vertical hoist giving easy access to underground aqueous resources. I’ve not a clue what she’s talking about but I’m sure she means well !!
Continue ReadingIf Benitez asked his Live …
If Benitez asked his Liverpool squad to push pineapples and shake a tree, what would Agger do?
Continue ReadingOur local water authority …
Our local water authority’s said that there could be a hosepipe ban if we have a warm summer. I’m not worried… I’ve had a 24 foot long tap installed!
Continue ReadingI saw a tramp today who h …
I saw a tramp today who had a rough beard, torn clothes and long dirty fingernails. I could smell him a mile away and he looked freezing. Totally helpless he was, I felt sorry for him. Glad I’m not like that, I’d hate to be in his shoe.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been to the ven …
I’ve just been to the ventriloquist shop to buy stuff. “I got all the gear”
Continue ReadingWow! the only thing worst …
Wow! the only thing worst than my jokes is the sickipedia check for exisiting scheme! but anyway i’m in this internet cafe…
Continue ReadingWhen asked who their favo …
When asked who their favourite Rice Krispie character is, most people make a Snap decision.
Continue ReadingI went to my G.P earlier: …
I went to my G.P earlier: “Doctor, Doctor, I think I’m a battery.” “Are you positive?” “Yeah” I said, “at one end.”
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