I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You are obviously not listening.”
Continue Reading“Roll up, roll up…” said the tour guide at the cigarette museum
Continue ReadingIf Christopher Walken. Was to write. A joke. It would probably. Contain. Too many. Full stops.
Continue ReadingQ:Whats the differnce between justin biber and a used condom? A: Every one would laugh if i bust justin bieber
Continue ReadingAs I studied my reflection, I knew something was wrong. I’d fitted the two-way mirror backwards.
Continue ReadingI always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the surgery performed in Prague? They succeeded in separating siamese twins joined at the hip. And after 16 hours in surgery…. the doctor handed each parent a separate Czech
Continue ReadingI saw two blokes about to play pool in the pub last night. I walked over to one of them and said, “Play the winner?” He said, “Yeah, okay.” “Great” I said taking his cue, “I’llbreak.”
Continue ReadingI really hate people who express their views over the internet.
Continue ReadingI don’t know why Agatha Christie books are so popular, it’s just a mystery to me.
Continue ReadingImagine how frightened those boys on the Normandy Invasion must’ve been, and they died bravely fighting off an American & British invasion.
Continue ReadingI hear the police have set up a hot dog stand outside their station in Nottingham? Haven’t they got anything better to do?
Continue ReadingI just wish everyone would get off my back… It makes running from the scene so much harder.
Continue ReadingBroke the lift at work today Didn’t go down well
Continue ReadingNo Sat Nav! Im on a bridge I cant turn left, I need to change this to a mans voice.
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