I just sold the movie rig …
I just sold the movie rights to my life story. It’s not easy being a nocturnal alcholic but I can wait to see “Night Cider”.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Ive just been playing tha …
Ive just been playing that game where you have to find out the song that was number one in the week you were born..someone told me that mine was Paradise by Coldplay..I told them I wasnt born yesterday!
Continue ReadingI asked a fisherman for s …
I asked a fisherman for some advice, but he just told me to sling my hook
Continue ReadingA vertically challenged, …
A vertically challenged, mixed heritage hermaphrodite was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia.. It’s political correctness gone mad..
Continue ReadingI’m about to release my n …
I’m about to release my new book on joblessness soon. Still needs work though.
Continue ReadingI just got thrown out of …
I just got thrown out of our local hospital for misusing a breast-scanning unit… Or Binoculars, as the Security Guard insisted on calling them.
Continue ReadingWhen I take a long time, …
When I take a long time, I’m slow. When my boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. When I can’t finish it, I’m lazy. When my boss can’t finish it, he’s too busy. When I do something without being told, I’m hasty. When my boss does something without being told, he’s using his initiative. When […]
Continue ReadingI got battered on the wee …
I got battered on the weekend. Then served with chips, mushy peas and a lemon wedge. That put me in my plaice.
Continue ReadingWith all these immigrants …
With all these immigrants arriving, I’m beginning to wonder how long it will take Sickipedia to become Sikhipedia.
Continue ReadingI’m not impressed with th …
I’m not impressed with these drawing pins I bought. It’s been two days now and they haven’t drawn a thing.
Continue ReadingI went to the Zoo the oth …
I went to the Zoo the other day. I think someone needs to tell those meerkats that everything is going to be okay.
Continue ReadingEverybody has an ego. Min …
Everybody has an ego. Mine’s just bigger… and better.
Continue Readingif anybody knows any good …
if anybody knows any good salad jokes then lettuce know
Continue ReadingExperts are worried that …
Experts are worried that Pompeii is falling down due to neglect. Pompeii, a 2,000 year old city that was destroyed by a volcano.
Continue ReadingI for one am impressed wi …
I for one am impressed with Jade Goody. In her suffering she has still found time to shave her head for Comic Relief.
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