Author: qjoq.com

I’ve bought a new pet that commits suicide at parties, Bit of a one trick pony.

I employed a new gardener and gave him a list of tasks to do, when I returned he only done tasks 1,3,5 and 7 on the list. Turns out he’s just an odd job man.

I received a letter in the post from my gas and electric company asking for my meter readings. I phoned them up and said “Well it’s 100cm, of course.”

Results day for my daughter and, like many parents, I’m more than a little nervous. Is the baby mine?

I have been informed of some key information. They are useful for opening locks

There was a man walking down the street wearing a big coat. The hood on his jacket kept leaping about frantically and people are throwing money into it. I asked him “Do you earn a lot doing that?” The man replies “Yea! It’s my lively hood.”

My father used to tell me that a round of golf was a fairway to vent his anger.