I was driving north on th …
I was driving north on the m6 past Stafford, when I saw a sign reminding me to “Think Bike.” Ironically, at the very same time, I found myself thinking the words “Katie Price.” How odd.
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The other day I went to O …
The other day I went to Office Max to get some supplies. While there I bought a new ink cartridge for my printer. It came in a fairly large box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, which took an unnecessarily long time, I found that the printer cartridge […]
Continue ReadingApparently the Flintstone …
Apparently the Flintstones had a very boring game called ‘Rock’ Back then they haven’t invented paper or scissors yet.
Continue ReadingPeople say that what you …
People say that what you put in is what you get out. These people have obviously never seen the movie Teeth.
Continue ReadingI can tell by the looks I …
I can tell by the looks I get in the changing rooms,that I am very blessed in the trouser department. My wife really is an excellent tailor.
Continue ReadingIt’s weird that the words …
It’s weird that the words ‘finger puppets’ sound okay as a noun…
Continue ReadingI’ve never bothered buyin …
I’ve never bothered buying a bread bin… I put any leftover bread in my normal bin.
Continue ReadingWasn’t going to purchase …
Wasn’t going to purchase an animal for the annual male duck race but I went down to the farm anyway, I thought I’d go for a quick gander…
Continue ReadingMy wife complained at me …
My wife complained at me for not using enough herbs when I cook for her. I told her I just didn’t have the thyme.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a ginger …
What do you call a ginger with a dead gorgeous body? A necrophiliac.
Continue ReadingI watch pom. You misread …
I watch pom. You misread that, didn’t you?
Continue ReadingThey say “you are what yo …
They say “you are what you eat”… …so why doesn’t duck taste like bread..?
Continue ReadingThe electric gate that ki …
The electric gate that killed the 12 year old girl has been released by police without charge. So now it’s just a gate.
Continue ReadingI’ve been nominated for a …
I’ve been nominated for a ‘Hairdresser of the Year’ award. Best Newcomber.
Continue ReadingI’ve just started going o …
I’ve just started going out with some anorexic twins, two birds one stone
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