I got punched in the face …
I got punched in the face by a mute bloke this afternoon. I was dumbstruck.
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Next time you see a prett …
Next time you see a pretty girl late at night and you don’t know whether to approach them or not – why not take a stab in the dark? They struggle less when they’re wounded!
Continue ReadingWhat do you need to get i …
What do you need to get into a Welsh University. BAA
Continue ReadingMy mate has a rare psycho …
My mate has a rare psychological condition in which he think’s he’s a baby. It got so bad last week that he ended up being C-sectioned.
Continue ReadingI saw a greenfly earlier. …
I saw a greenfly earlier. He was walking.
Continue ReadingI have been wondering. Wh …
I have been wondering. Why do we call ourselves Sickipedians? In my honest opinion, Sickipediaphiles seems more apt.
Continue ReadingLittle Johnny comes home …
Little Johnny comes home with wet hair. “Why is your hair wet, Johnny?” asks his mother “Me and Bobby were playing doggy,” says Johnny. “That doesn’t make your hair wet.” “It does when it’s your turn to be the lamp post.”
Continue ReadingKids in the dark cause ac …
Kids in the dark cause accidents, Accidents in the dark cause kids.
Continue ReadingI recently got banned fro …
I recently got banned from driving my Ford because of dangerous driving. I just couldn’t keep my focus
Continue ReadingI just went to the librar …
I just went to the library in my Town and asked for a book on library jokes… Suprisingly they have all been borrowed.
Continue ReadingHave you noticed how all …
Have you noticed how all the subversive comedians satire observational comedy by observing something that only a minuscule amount of the audience would actually observe then saying “What’s all that about?” What’s all that about?
Continue ReadingWhat have the News Of The …
What have the News Of The World and Channel 4 got in common? Phone Jacker
Continue ReadingBBC News: Virtual monkeys …
BBC News: Virtual monkeys write Shakespeare. Tamarin of the Shrew?
Continue ReadingI’m sleeping in the spare …
I’m sleeping in the spare room tonight because my wife keeps shouting out “Monopoly” “Scrabble” “Snap” in the night. I have had enough of her games.
Continue ReadingMy friend came over to my …
My friend came over to my house earlier and I showed him my collection of music magazines. After he left I noticed that a few had gone missing. In future I’ll keep my friends close and my NMEs even closer.
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