Your mum is so fat she ca …
Your mum is so fat she can’t even pick out the first pringle
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Dwarfism does not stop my …
Dwarfism does not stop my mother from going on naturist holidays to enjoy nudity When she does I like to call her my ‘bare- mini-mum’
Continue ReadingI walked down a street wh …
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane.
Continue ReadingI absolutely love my job …
I absolutely love my job as a cradle tester… It rocks!
Continue ReadingWalkers Light Crisps does …
Walkers Light Crisps does this mean they’ve replaced the air with helium?
Continue ReadingYes I can confirm the rum …
Yes I can confirm the rumors are true – it was me who won the 166 million Euro jackpot. I spent the money putting a full tank of petrol in my car. Obviously I’m now skint again, so stop sending begging letters.
Continue ReadingI just sliced my finger o …
I just sliced my finger open trying to take the battery out of my phone. Cutting edge technology.
Continue ReadingMy Dad had just come back …
My Dad had just come back from America, I met him at the airport and he said, “I picked you this up from the plane, its one of them iPads” I was amazed and so happy, until he handed me a bag and said, “you know they go over your eyes and help you sleep”
Continue ReadingProbably the single and m …
Probably the single and most frustrating thing about social media websites like twitter, is the fact that you only get 140 characters to us
Continue ReadingI’ve been fed up with foo …
I’ve been fed up with food lately.
Continue ReadingI just think that jokes a …
I just think that jokes about food critics are in bad taste.
Continue ReadingNever had the phrase “Tak …
Never had the phrase “Takes one to know one” had more meaning than when Sickipedians call Michael Jackson a Paedophile
Continue ReadingIf a mentally challenged …
If a mentally challenged midget is late to an appointment, can you justifiably call them “A little tardy”?
Continue ReadingI couldn’t get on to this …
I couldn’t get on to this website this afternoon so I exitedly checked BBC news to see who’d died.
Continue ReadingMy mate reckons he’s the …
My mate reckons he’s the best pot dealer in the country. I think he’s just got delusions of ganja.
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