All of that Eastside-West …
All of that Eastside-Westside trouble in the USA could have been avoided if the Notorious B.I.G spoke a bit clearer. He only asked his crew to go out and get two packs of sugar.
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I met my girlfriend at a …
I met my girlfriend at a summer fair. It was fete.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me due to my …
My wife left me due to my obsession with explosives Don’t know what set her off
Continue ReadingMy Cousin has just had an …
My Cousin has just had an article written in the local newspaper with her photo saying how she is a successful business woman. ‘What a strange coincidence’ I said. ‘Fancy how two people from the same family end up with there picture in the paper the same week. We should celebrate.’ Apparently her being a […]
Continue ReadingI got called to the schoo …
I got called to the school last week, as apparently my son had used the ‘n’ word several times. Once I got him home, I had a quiet word with him about it. I told him, “How many times, you never say never.”
Continue ReadingMore riotting set for Lon …
More riotting set for London streets. Here is the postcode for your sat nav. N16 6ER.
Continue ReadingSodomy – when there’s not …
Sodomy – when there’s nothing on the telly and your Dad is also in a curious mood
Continue ReadingI was going to do Philoso …
I was going to do Philosophy as a Major. But I couldn’t find the uniform.
Continue ReadingWhen we were at the beach …
When we were at the beach, my kid asked me if I’d make the lobster he found look like Zoidberg, but I told him I had bigger fish to Fry.
Continue ReadingI used to eat a lot of na …
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that a lot of people die of natural causes.
Continue ReadingI’ve just realized that t …
I’ve just realized that tofu is over-rated, it’s just a curd to me.
Continue ReadingThe Curiosity Rover has j …
The Curiosity Rover has just found a toilet with the seat up, proving once and for all that men ARE actually from Mars.
Continue ReadingI bought a slinky yesterd …
I bought a slinky yesterday. That’s when things started going downhill…
Continue ReadingIf at first you do succee …
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too surprised.
Continue ReadingHole punch: The Katie Pri …
Hole punch: The Katie Price method of masturbating.
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