I love these jokes about …
I love these jokes about the depeche mode. I just can’t get enough.
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I’m not saying I’m a bad …
I’m not saying I’m a bad parent or anything but it did take a photo on a milk carton before I realised my son was missing.
Continue ReadingMy wife said we should ha …
My wife said we should have an acronym contest. I said stfu.
Continue ReadingNeighbours pointed out th …
Neighbours pointed out that Ivy on our roof was getting dangerous. I told them there was nothing I could do. Once Nan sobered up, she’d stop throwing slates and come down herself.
Continue ReadingI’m worried that my wife …
I’m worried that my wife is smoking too much. Maybe I should have dried her out a bit before I threw her on the bonfire.
Continue ReadingMy mate was trapped in a …
My mate was trapped in a burning house, but then strolled casually out with a fun bag and a piece of cake. Must have been friendly fire.
Continue ReadingYou can’t keep a good dog …
You can’t keep a good dog down… unless it’s been at the pound too long.
Continue ReadingThe Unforgettable Elephan …
The Unforgettable Elephant Story In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee […]
Continue ReadingI got accused of stealing …
I got accused of stealing the mugs at work Why would I do it? Its just not my cup of tea
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend hates me sp …
My girlfriend hates me spooning her. I can’t help it, I love the taste.
Continue ReadingGolden Retriever Saves 11 …
Golden Retriever Saves 11-Year-Old Boy From Cougar.” Good for the dog! These women really need to find men their own age.
Continue ReadingMy brother just left to d …
My brother just left to do his second tour of Iraq, so i bought him a comb as a parting gift.
Continue ReadingHow come you never see a …
How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?
Continue ReadingI could hear my wife in t …
I could hear my wife in the bathroom earlier and all she kept saying was “E A I U O” I think she was having a vowel movement.
Continue ReadingAnybody else find it impo …
Anybody else find it impossible to walk out of the newsagents without having a sneaky peek at the top shelf?
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