My girlfriend has been bl …
My girlfriend has been blowing me off for some other guy lately… I don’t even know why we let him watch.
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I told the waitress in St …
I told the waitress in Starbucks that my coffee tasted like mud. She said, “It’s because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.”
Continue ReadingDid very well again in th …
Did very well again in this years anti-chivalry tournament… I always come in first.
Continue ReadingPoliceman stopped me in m …
Policeman stopped me in my car last night and asks me to get out so he can search inside the vehicle. He sits on the drivers seat rummaging through the glove box, ash tray and side pockets,then turns to me and asks: “is there anything in your car that shouldn’t be?” “just a fat pig!” […]
Continue ReadingA friend of mine said she …
A friend of mine said she was going to spend the day “Just lolling around the house” I couldn’t see what she found so funny.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me today tha …
My wife told me today that I’m going to be a father for the very first time. The sad news is, I’ve already got two children.
Continue ReadingThe gear box in my mini b …
The gear box in my mini broke this morning, so I’ve decided to get a new clutch. At least now when I take the car to the garage, I’ll look fabulous.
Continue ReadingA woman and her two child …
A woman and her two children were brutally murdered and decapitated at their London home yesterday. Police are hunting the killer. A neighbour said “I heard screams and called the police. It was horrible.” There has been a public outcry of support for those closest to the deceased. The family have been described as “in […]
Continue ReadingI tied up my wife the oth …
I tied up my wife the other day. Now she’s a ladyboy.
Continue Readingpaedophilia. talk about s …
paedophilia. talk about swings and roundabouts.
Continue ReadingI wanted to do some DIY t …
I wanted to do some DIY the other day, so I went to the library and asked the librarian if she had any books on shelves.
Continue ReadingThere are two types of pe …
There are two types of people in this World, those who finish what they start and
Continue ReadingWhat is white, red and si …
What is white, red and silver? An Emo teenager’s wrist.
Continue ReadingSingle white mail seeking …
Single white mail seeking stamp for long term relationship.
Continue ReadingI don’t get kids today, I …
I don’t get kids today, I mean it’s good they’ve noticed I’ve have my drive re-tarred but do they have to shout it at me when I’m polishing my Prius?
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