I don’t agree with batter …
I don’t agree with battery hens. Surely they lay bigger eggs if they’re plugged into the mains.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Some people say my Altima …
Some people say my Altima looks like me. A G that got beat with the ugly stick.
Continue ReadingMSN News : Butchers slam …
MSN News : Butchers slam Lady Gaga’s meat That’s a bit graphic isn’t it, msn?
Continue ReadingHeard that one of the Ger …
Heard that one of the German national football squad was having trouble falling asleep on long-haul flights, so being the generous lad that I am I sent him an inflatable neck-rest. I included a note. It read- ”To Klose; for comfort”
Continue ReadingCuriosity killed the cat. …
Curiosity killed the cat. And my best friend. I should’ve thought of a better name for my alligator.
Continue ReadingI’m a man of strong moral …
I’m a man of strong moral principles, and always say that violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. The answer is yes.
Continue ReadingIf I learned one thing fr …
If I learned one thing from watching TV, it’s that radioactivity enables Turtles to speak perfect English.
Continue ReadingZombies like open-minded …
Zombies like open-minded people.
Continue ReadingI love to sneak around my …
I love to sneak around my estate at night. I take my Two Million Candlelight Torch, I then wait and jump out on coppers. I’m a right bobby dazzler!
Continue ReadingIts MayDay today, apparen …
Its MayDay today, apparently you are meant to rub your face in the morning dew. I only know a Muslim, does that count ?
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between my girlfriend and the Aussie cricket team? My girlfriend’s DEFINITELY gonna get spanked.
Continue ReadingI was trying to direct a …
I was trying to direct a real-life remake of the Hunchback Of Notre-Dame, but the Actor who plays the main role has just called in sick. It’s not all bad news though, luckily, I have a back-up.
Continue ReadingShakespeare’s philosophy; …
Shakespeare’s philosophy; work right, play wright.
Continue ReadingLif is too short. …
Lif is too short.
Continue ReadingI went to the bank the ot …
I went to the bank the other day and asked the cashier for a statement. She said ‘My name is Carol and I work at the bank’.
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