I really hate making card …
I really hate making card houses. I just cant stand them.
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Can’t wait for the big dr …
Can’t wait for the big draw tonight. Rolf Harris Vs Tony Hart.
Continue ReadingI smoked this drug called …
I smoked this drug called Medusa. It got me stoned.
Continue ReadingMy Arabic wife was really …
My Arabic wife was really stressed out from work and wanted try to get stoned one night. So I took her back to Iran and accused her of cheating on me.
Continue ReadingWhy is etymology called e …
Why is etymology called etymology?
Continue ReadingA Giraffe. The result of …
A Giraffe. The result of uppercutting a horse.
Continue ReadingJust seen this facebook g …
Just seen this facebook group: ”Can this egg get more fans than Katie Price?” The egg has already been laid, I think it’s only fair to give everyone else a chance.
Continue ReadingIt’s surprising how far a …
It’s surprising how far a fiver goes these days. I walked all around Waitrose and still came out with it in my hand.
Continue ReadingAs a tramp, I was always …
As a tramp, I was always being moved on by the plod when sleeping in shop doorways, They don’t move me anymore now though , I tell them I’m queuing early for sales.
Continue ReadingHonestly Leeds, I’ve seen …
Honestly Leeds, I’ve seen better crosses in a mosque.
Continue ReadingI wrote a very threatenin …
I wrote a very threatening letter to the council, stamped it and sent it off. But the police traced it back to my house because of the footprint on the envelope.
Continue ReadingIt’s cruel that people ma …
It’s cruel that people make fun of the way Stephen Hawking talks. I use one of those voice boxes myself and can synthesize with him.
Continue ReadingI went to see a ‘Catwalk’ …
I went to see a ‘Catwalk’ in Paris because i heard its entertaining. What a waste of time, they walk like any other cat i’ve seen.
Continue ReadingMark Zuckerberg is Time M …
Mark Zuckerberg is Time Magazine’s ‘Person of the Year’. I found out on twitter.
Continue ReadingMy mate just attatched a …
My mate just attatched a tennis ball to his radio antena on his car. He must have great service
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