My girlfriend was putting …
My girlfriend was putting me down saying that no woman would ever look at me and get wet. So I booked my band a gig at Glastonbury
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Now over to ITV for the F …
Now over to ITV for the Formula 1 Highlights – – The races starts, – Vettel wins.
Continue ReadingI was in a fight in town …
I was in a fight in town last night and got thrown through Marks and Spencer’s front window. I’ve never been in so much pane.
Continue ReadingMy wife says i treat her …
My wife says i treat her with no respect, but thats just not the case, i think she was just grumpy because her bowl was empty.
Continue ReadingI wanted a joke about Jos …
I wanted a joke about Josef Fritzl today, so naturally I went on Sickipedia. It was only when I looked through the categories did I think that it’s only this site where you’d consider looking for a domestic rapist under ‘celebrities’.
Continue ReadingI feel sorry for Sheep Do …
I feel sorry for Sheep Dogs: They have to make a lot more effort than the beautiful sheep.
Continue ReadingAs a joke me and the wife …
As a joke me and the wife went to our kids and asked them who they would rather live with if we got divorced. To my disappointment they said her. Joke’s on her though, we’re getting divorced tomorrow.
Continue ReadingJammie Dodgers adverts, m …
Jammie Dodgers adverts, making you feel like the world’s biggest drug addict since 2011.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a pig in …
What do you call a pig in an oven? Pork.
Continue ReadingI can’t help thinking tha …
I can’t help thinking that the guy who first coined the word “missile” must’ve been a pessimist.
Continue ReadingAs soon as I walked into …
As soon as I walked into the cannibals dinner party, someone gave me handshake. It was delicious.
Continue ReadingBREAKING NEWS: Sickipedia …
BREAKING NEWS: Sickipedia officially outranks the Twin Towers as the biggest crash site of all time.
Continue Reading“Can I have a doggy bag, …
“Can I have a doggy bag, please?” “You know, that’s the first time anyone has asked me that in all my years of neutering pets.”
Continue ReadingAccording to surveys, pes …
According to surveys, pessimists now outnumber optimists in Britain… …but I would imagine most of you were expecting that.
Continue ReadingI rang the local ramblers …
I rang the local ramblers club yesterday. The bloke at the other end went on and on and on.
Continue Reading