I haven’t seen this many …
I haven’t seen this many negative score’s since I marked that American platoon’s I.Q. test’s.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I drank a Red Bull earlie …
I drank a Red Bull earlier. Afterwards, I noticed that on the back of the can it says that it “Improves the emotional state”. I’m glad.
Continue ReadingI made an amazing vegetar …
I made an amazing vegetarian dish today. I used the top of the skull and gave it a purple glaze.
Continue ReadingNext time you eat egg, ju …
Next time you eat egg, just keep in mind…..you’re eating a chicken’s period.
Continue ReadingBritish summertimes are t …
British summertimes are the BST.
Continue ReadingMy father always said hon …
My father always said honesty is the best policy. Would explain why he lost his life savings playing poker.
Continue ReadingAfter extensive research, …
After extensive research, astronomers at Mauna Kea Hawaii have come to the conclusion that intelligent lifeforms are more likely to exist on smaller planets rather than larger planets and Liverpool.
Continue ReadingMy dad said he hated my j …
My dad said he hated my job as a ventriloquist and that he never wanted to see me do an impression again. I replied, “Talk to the hand.”
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend went for he …
My girlfriend went for her driving test today. Her mates told her to wear something revealing, to sway the examiners decision. It didnt work – I was the examiner.
Continue ReadingThese 2 men were irritati …
These 2 men were irritating me today, telling me to remove my trousers. So I took them down.
Continue ReadingWhy don’t they just put a …
Why don’t they just put a page full of jokes on ‘the database latency too high’ page.
Continue ReadingI’ve just changed my rela …
I’ve just changed my relationship status on Facebook to, ‘it’s complicated.’ It took me three hours.
Continue ReadingI’m a mime artist. I only …
I’m a mime artist. I only paint French clowns.
Continue ReadingI went for an audition th …
I went for an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds. 14 showed up, It was overcast.
Continue ReadingI’ve applied for a job as …
I’ve applied for a job as a spell checker at the local school. Unfortunately some sorcerer got it.
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