Sky News : “Brrr-itain Br …
Sky News : “Brrr-itain Braced For Another Big Freeze” So if Britain becomes frosty, does that make it Grrr-eat?
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National Geographic : “Sp …
National Geographic : “Sperm Recognize “Brothers,” Team Up” Good to know that our sperm aren’t running around with strangers.
Continue ReadingI date girls that weigh 2 …
I date girls that weigh 20 stone or more. Because they are the only ones that won’t run away from me.
Continue ReadingLast year, my mates spons …
Last year, my mates sponsored me to run the London Marathon backwards. It took me over eight hours to fight my way through the oncoming crowd, but eventually I made it to the starting line.
Continue ReadingAll this talk of dangerou …
All this talk of dangerous, genetically modified food tasting horrible is nonsense. I mean, just today I had a delicious leg of salmon.
Continue ReadingHad an interview today wh …
Had an interview today where I was asked what my greatest strength was. Apparently ‘only about 80kg’ wasn’t the answer they were looking for.
Continue ReadingI saw a Teletubby on a sc …
I saw a Teletubby on a scooter shouting out, “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream”. I think it may have been Edgar Allan Po.
Continue ReadingI love going to the Boula …
I love going to the Boulangerie but I always leave with a Pain!
Continue ReadingI was learning how to wal …
I was learning how to walk the other day. I got step – by – step instructions.
Continue ReadingSo England v Holland tomo …
So England v Holland tomorrow has been postponed. It’s funny how the Ghana v Nigeria match at Watford hasn’t been cancelled if it had there would’ve been riots everywhere!!
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a man we …
What do you call a man wearing three raincoats? Max.
Continue ReadingI went in HMV earlier and …
I went in HMV earlier and asked the guy behind the counter if they had any Run DMC records. “Walk this way,” he replied.
Continue ReadingOoops. Just been on Faceb …
Ooops. Just been on Facebook. Think I gave the game away that I’m a Sickipedian. Someone posted that their friend has cancer and I replied, “I know how they feel, I’ve been choked up with the cold all week.” On the plus side, it’s the most notifications I’ve ever had.
Continue ReadingMy maths teacher once ask …
My maths teacher once asked, “See how many times you can take 7 away from 700?” I must have done it nearly a hundred times… and still got 693 as the answer.
Continue ReadingThe outside of my house w …
The outside of my house was looking shabby. So I added a pier and two old donkeys. That should Brighton it up!
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