A dirty old man in a grey …
A dirty old man in a grey trenchcoat flashed at me earlier. So i raised my hand to thank him and proceeded to turn out of the junction and safely join the carriageway.
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I went into a stationary …
I went into a stationary shop to buy some paper clips but they gave me metal ones.
Continue ReadingI really wouldn’t be surp …
I really wouldn’t be surprised or bothered if i had no emotion.
Continue ReadingI went to the safari park …
I went to the safari park yesterday. When you go past the lions bit they ask you to keep your windows and doors shut. I had to – or my wife would’ve got back in.
Continue ReadingMy brother has constructe …
My brother has constructed a huge sign of his signature to hang on the front of his house. People for miles around have come to see it. He’s made quite a name for himself.
Continue ReadingHad a top secret meeting …
Had a top secret meeting with all the dimensions in the universe to discuss what will happen in the future. I think only time will tell.
Continue ReadingMy mum always told me tha …
My mum always told me that eating carrots would make me able to see in the dark Which made the night my pet rabbit escaped and fell into the garbage disposal all the more crushing
Continue ReadingOn my first day of work t …
On my first day of work the boss said, “If you have any problems, come to my office and let me know.” He was shocked when I popped in shortly after to show him my Genital Warts.
Continue ReadingWhy do Anarchists want to …
Why do Anarchists want to live in dirty communes with no electricity? Because all power corrupts.
Continue ReadingUntil they invented the o …
Until they invented the other side of velcro, it never caught on.
Continue ReadingI’ve recently got a new p …
I’ve recently got a new pet, but I don’t think it likes my heavy metal music. Either that or I’ve got a def leppard.
Continue ReadingDon’t skim read, you migh …
Don’t skim read, you might something.
Continue ReadingHear about the emo that w …
Hear about the emo that went into voluntary liquidation? Stuck his hand in a blender.
Continue ReadingMSN News: Woman, 30, Seri …
MSN News: Woman, 30, Seriously hurt after being hit by Dodge 4X4. oh the Irony!
Continue ReadingI always wanted to be a c …
I always wanted to be a comedian as a child. My Dad told me I should practice in the bath, so I did. The bad thing is, he said the same thing to my brother. He was an electrician.
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