Every day this week, my b …
Every day this week, my boss has been making me stand on one leg in the corner of the office and I’m getting sick of it. I’ll have to put my foot down.
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And ruins it when you rea …
And ruins it when you read it properly? Anyone else hate it when you accidentally read the punchline of a joke
Continue ReadingMy sister always dreamt o …
My sister always dreamt of the day when she’d be whisked off her feet. Though she screamed when she fell into the vat at the meringue factory.
Continue ReadingI just saw an advert for …
I just saw an advert for “singlemuslim.com” I’ve heard it’s gone down a bomb in the arab community
Continue ReadingRoses are read. Violets a …
Roses are read. Violets are blew. English isn’t my first language.
Continue Reading‘They laughed when I said …
‘They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now’
Continue ReadingThe pride of Britain awar …
The pride of Britain awards are coming up. My money’s on the white lions at the West Midlands Safari Park.
Continue ReadingYou can find everything t …
You can find everything to know about DJs on wiki-wiki-wikipedia.
Continue ReadingI need to stop drink-driv …
I need to stop drink-driving. I accidentally Smacked another golfer in the face with my club today.
Continue ReadingMy mate used to be bad te …
My mate used to be bad tempered about everything until I hit him with a spade one day. Now he’s quite level-headed.
Continue ReadingI started working as a te …
I started working as a teacher in a school for mentally challenged children. On the first day I asked them if anyone can do animal noises. Apparently that’s all they can do.
Continue ReadingA bird in the hand may we …
A bird in the hand may well be worth two in the bush, but it makes blowing your nose very difficult.
Continue ReadingAmerican humor It just do …
American humor It just doesn’t include u
Continue ReadingMy wife has just lost a s …
My wife has just lost a stone, It’ll be a great loss to her rock collection.
Continue ReadingI just saw snakes on a pl …
I just saw snakes on a plane. And here I was thinking it only happens in movies.
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