What’s grey? A melted pen …
What’s grey? A melted penguin.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
For me, coming out as a t …
For me, coming out as a teenager was the hardest thing I’ve experienced. God knows what it must have been like for my mother. Being in labour for that long.
Continue ReadingMy friend has a job selli …
My friend has a job selling drugs in an area where the police never go through. I asked him if he could describe his occupation in one word, what would it be? He replied: “Ideal.”
Continue ReadingThe best way of getting o …
The best way of getting over someone is getting on top of someone else.
Continue ReadingI woke up this morning wi …
I woke up this morning with pins and needles in both my hands. Threw them at the wife.
Continue ReadingOn a sunday afternoon, me …
On a sunday afternoon, me and the wife usually take a look around the dogs home. For some reason, the mother in law loves showing us around her bungalow.
Continue ReadingIf you’re ever discussing …
If you’re ever discussing facts about your Manx cat with anyone, remember, it’s all about the detail.
Continue ReadingJust offended some dog po …
Just offended some dog poo. Put my foot right in it.
Continue ReadingI took a course on how to …
I took a course on how to be successful. I failed.
Continue ReadingI was having dinner with …
I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time. It was absolute carnage.
Continue ReadingI had a woman scream at m …
I had a woman scream at me earlier for streaking when I was cleaning her windows. She wanted them cleaned properly.
Continue ReadingLife without sarcasm woul …
Life without sarcasm would be amazing.
Continue Readingwhat do you call a black …
what do you call a black bloke that only plays 17 holes on a golf course ? mr t
Continue ReadingI got a detention at scho …
I got a detention at school today after responding to the teacher with “that’s what she said”. She then proceeded to tell me to think long and hard about what I do in life. I now have another detention.
Continue ReadingI read in the Daily Mail …
I read in the Daily Mail today that policemen are no longer allowed to say “Sure as eggs is eggs,” in case it offends women with fertility problems. Am I the only one who thinks that any woman that gets offended by that shouldn’t be allowed to have children anyway?
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