Fossils- the only thing t …
Fossils- the only thing they tell us is that dinosaurs lived underground.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
With petrol so expensive …
With petrol so expensive I’ve an idea to pour it in empty milk bottles with a bit of rag as a bung and selling it on street corners. Everyone says I’ll be making a bomb.
Continue ReadingI hate it when people say …
I hate it when people say “Think about it”. What’s there to think about it’s just a two letter word.
Continue ReadingIn school, my teacher ask …
In school, my teacher asked me if I had any of my own maths equipment. I said “I have a broken abacus”. She said “That doesn’t count”.
Continue ReadingTeacher.”No Tony we cant …
Teacher.”No Tony we cant play say your name backwards” Tony,”y not”.
Continue ReadingWhy do celebrities call t …
Why do celebrities call their children such silly names. My parents called me Robert because they had more respect for me. Regards, R. Send
Continue ReadingI bought a fan belt today …
I bought a fan belt today. It keeps the top of my trousers cool.
Continue ReadingMy mates all think I’m re …
My mates all think I’m really gullible. Last week I paid 3,000 to some Irish bloke to tarmac my drive, but once I’d handed over my money, I never saw him again. I wasn’t best pleased. I was looking forward to having a driveway up to my second floor flat.
Continue ReadingIn 2013, I’m going to wat …
In 2013, I’m going to watch 2012, And laugh.
Continue ReadingA police investigation ha …
A police investigation has found that counterfeiters have doubled the number of 1 coins that they forge every year. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just start making 2 coins?
Continue ReadingI’m addicted to the inter …
I’m addicted to the internet game Tetris, and it’s seriously getting out of control. All I can think of is where my next line is coming from.
Continue ReadingKeep your seatbelt fasten …
Keep your seatbelt fastened at all times, though if we do crash, its only function will be to keep your body stationary as it burns.
Continue ReadingA Man, a woman and a Shee …
A Man, a woman and a Sheep, Pig and a Cow. Would this be a menagerie a trois?
Continue ReadingWhilst going up in a lift …
Whilst going up in a lift today, I asked the attendant why it literally took seconds to get past the first few floors, yet one of the floors took well over five minutes, even though we were doing the same speed. “It’s a bit of a long story that one”, he replied.
Continue ReadingMy wife said seeing as it …
My wife said seeing as it’s hot she wants a cool bath. So I’ve put a rubber duck in it, how cool’s that?
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