According to the police, …
According to the police, Despite being called “Firework night”, setting fire to my office is still illegal.
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I used to be all tight an …
I used to be all tight and think racism was hectic and wrong. Now I just think its one big joke, Cheers sickipedia
Continue ReadingThe reason that the BNP n …
The reason that the BNP never do well in their survey’s and audits is because they hate Polls.
Continue ReadingThe past year has been pr …
The past year has been pretty traumatic for me. First I found out that the tooth fairy didn’t exist, then I found out that superman isn’t real and my parents were lying to me about Father Christmas. And if all that wasn’t bad enough already, I’m starting to suspect that the bloke on the rice […]
Continue ReadingIf there’s one thing I kn …
If there’s one thing I know, I really should learn more things.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend just dumped …
My girlfriend just dumped me for endlessly re-using common formats of jokes.
Continue ReadingI’ve never been on a date …
I’ve never been on a date before. But I did once come in a watermelon.
Continue ReadingChelsea star, Florent Mal …
Chelsea star, Florent Malouda, has been quoted as saying that blacks and whites are perfectly equal and that blacks are not to blame for the London riots. Typical beliefs for a left-winger really.
Continue ReadingI’ll always remember the …
I’ll always remember the day my teacher asked me ‘Didn’t your Mother teach you not to play with fire?’ No, I replied, never really knew my Mother, she was killed in a chip pan fire in 1994.
Continue ReadingCommunicating with Native …
Communicating with Native Americans… it’s easy when you know How.
Continue ReadingIt is advised that if con …
It is advised that if confronted by a bear you should drop to the ground, stay silent, act submissively and wait until it’s lost interest in you before you move. Respect to the blatant rapist, who clearly wanders forests dressed in a bear suit, for releasing this ‘advice’ to the world.
Continue ReadingI’m American, and I know …
I’m American, and I know we and the British have our differences in spelling words, but one has always puzzled me. Is it spelled Iraq or Iran?
Continue ReadingThe wife was livid that I …
The wife was livid that I had made a show of her in front of all my friends last night. With hindsight, I probably should have hidden the web cam in the bedroom a bit better.
Continue ReadingI had to break up with my …
I had to break up with my girlfriend because she’s obsessed with Twilight. Fed up of her waking me up just before dawn to look at nothing.
Continue ReadingWhy does Poundland have s …
Why does Poundland have security guards?
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