I was named after my fath …
I was named after my father – That Guy From The Bar
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
If I had a penny for ever …
If I had a penny for every time that I thought that I deserve to be marginally richer than I currently am…
Continue ReadingMy wife didn’t enjoy my Y …
My wife didn’t enjoy my Yule Log…apparently the bit of bog roll stuck to it put her off.
Continue ReadingI shouldn’t of started th …
I shouldn’t of started that food fight. Now i’ve got a bit of a pickle on my hands.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between an over curious archaeologist and Kanye West? The archaeologist is a nosey digger.
Continue ReadingMy son said, “Look Daddy, …
My son said, “Look Daddy, I didn’t wet the bed! That’s the 5th time in a row!” I said, “Well done son, I’m proud of you. If you can manage just 9 more dry nights then I’ll take your mattress out of the shed and put it back in your bedroom”
Continue ReadingLast night my wife said I …
Last night my wife said I’m the worst vegetarian ever. I almost choked on my steak.
Continue ReadingWorking at the doctor’s o …
Working at the doctor’s office has its advantages: whenever I’m feeling down, I just send a ‘get well soon’ card to a few people on the hypochondriacs list.
Continue ReadingI told my wife to make me …
I told my wife to make me a sandwich and she responded snarkily, “I’ll make you a sandwich when pigs fly”. I threw her off the top of the roof a half hour ago, and still haven’t got my sandwich.
Continue ReadingEven if I lose to a girl, …
Even if I lose to a girl, I still beat them.
Continue ReadingI recently taught a sheep …
I recently taught a sheep how to drive. She wasn’t very good driving straight, but she was good at ewe-turns.
Continue Readingfat chicks. They always f …
fat chicks. They always feel the need to add you on facebook.
Continue ReadingI tried some mini golf to …
I tried some mini golf today. The salesmen at BMW were furious.
Continue ReadingI see that they now make …
I see that they now make Heinz Beans in little plastic pots…. It’s uncanny.
Continue ReadingBecause of Bob Crow and t …
Because of Bob Crow and the RMT, I have heard some say strike action should be banned. I just think that would drive it underground.
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