I was quite a ‘lady kille …
I was quite a ‘lady killer’ in my younger days, but behind bars for thirty years has changed that.
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Went to the pub and left …
Went to the pub and left my dog on the sofa watching BBC 2 tonight. He had no choice, haven’t taught him to change the channels yet.
Continue ReadingWomansion (n): Similar to …
Womansion (n): Similar to a Mansion, but consisting solely of a kitchen.
Continue ReadingI tell you, if i had a po …
I tell you, if i had a pound for everytime i haven’t won on a scratchcard, i’d probably be more inclined to play.
Continue ReadingIn a small fishing villag …
In a small fishing village, a fisherman was walking up the wharf carrying two – at least three-pound live lobsters – one in each hand. It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Federal Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling […]
Continue ReadingI innocently went on the …
I innocently went on the American Apparel website looking for a fleece, and it said the database latency was too high, what have you lot done?
Continue ReadingThere are reports of an u …
There are reports of an unidentified gang of out of control dogs causing trouble in Central London, authorities have no leads.
Continue ReadingThe tablets my doctor has …
The tablets my doctor has prescribed me are giving me side effects. I now walk like a crab.
Continue ReadingI’m currently studying th …
I’m currently studying the ‘Effects of Friction’… It’s gripping stuff.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me I was hav …
My wife told me I was having a ‘mid-life crisis’ earlier. I nearly fell out my Subaru.
Continue ReadingIt’s a small world – but …
It’s a small world – but I wouldn’t like to paint it.
Continue ReadingThe Indian government is …
The Indian government is to count every person in the country. Finally they’ve come to their census.
Continue ReadingMy wife tried telling me …
My wife tried telling me that women are smarter than men…. “Is that why anyone with a high I.Q can join that club womensa….”
Continue ReadingI lied awake in bed, but …
I lied awake in bed, but she believed every word.
Continue ReadingMy wife was contemplating …
My wife was contemplating having a flu vaccine but I refused to give her advice. I just didn’t want to influenza decision.
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