I saw a Rolex on ebay and …
I saw a Rolex on ebay and it said on the listing “Watch this item”. I don’t remember setting the language to cave man.
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Had a game of knots and c …
Had a game of knots and crosses the other day with the wife… I Tied her up and crucified her…
Continue ReadingSanta walked in on Mrs Cl …
Santa walked in on Mrs Claus having an affair. Hoe, hoe, hoe.
Continue ReadingWhy don’t Welsh people we …
Why don’t Welsh people wear their new trainers to play football? Because it Wrexham.
Continue ReadingIgnorance can be fixed wi …
Ignorance can be fixed with a book. Stupidity requires a shotgun and a shovel.
Continue ReadingWent to the flee market y …
Went to the flee market yesterday. My dog hated it.
Continue ReadingEver since I went on that …
Ever since I went on that helter-skelter I’ve been on a downward spiral.
Continue ReadingI promised the wife the R …
I promised the wife the Ritz for her birthday treat, i didnt disappoint. One whole pack of cheese crackers working their way to her now……
Continue ReadingThere’s A Fine Line Betwe …
There’s A Fine Line Between Hyphenated Words.
Continue ReadingDo I enjoy shopping in al …
Do I enjoy shopping in all these cheap foreign supermarkets? Just a Lidl.
Continue ReadingI was distraught today; I …
I was distraught today; I found out my whiskey had Downs syndrome. He’s a window liquor.
Continue ReadingI hate it when people end …
I hate it when people end a sentence with a question, dont you?
Continue ReadingNo one ever seems to disa …
No one ever seems to disappears into fat air.
Continue ReadingThe Head Teacher of my lo …
The Head Teacher of my local school asked me to perform a magic trick for the kids in wheelchairs the other day. So i climbed a ladder.
Continue ReadingI was outside the school, …
I was outside the school, eating a Twix, when I said to a small group of girls “Anyone fancy a finger?” And that your honour, is why it was consensual.
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