What do you call a loud d …
What do you call a loud dog that is underwater?? A subwoofer!!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve seen many Americans …
I’ve seen many Americans moved by ‘Amazing Grace’, but the majority of Americans I’ve seen don’t move with much grace at all.
Continue ReadingOld Biddies – Easter will …
Old Biddies – Easter will neither be ‘very late’ nor ‘very early’ this year. So that’s one less pointless conversation you can have with each other.
Continue ReadingI got trapped in a drum t …
I got trapped in a drum today. It was a snare.
Continue ReadingEven the thought of my wi …
Even the thought of my wife’s mashed potato brings a lump to my throat.
Continue ReadingIphone 4: This Changes Ev …
Iphone 4: This Changes Everything. Again. I think i liked it better when i could actually make a call
Continue ReadingI was so poor as a child. …
I was so poor as a child. My Shoes were that worn that i could throw a Penny on the Floor, and then put my Foot over it and be able to tell whether it was Heads or Tails.
Continue ReadingWife asked me why the PC …
Wife asked me why the PC volume is always at zero when she switches it on in a morning. “Windows default love,” I said. Quite convincingly.
Continue ReadingWhen I watch Comic Relief …
When I watch Comic Relief I always imagine I am bipolar. I sit all night watching celebrities making a fool of themselves and then a starving African baby comes on and always cheers me up.
Continue ReadingPubs. Save money on hand …
Pubs. Save money on hand driers by just hanging up a pair of jeans.
Continue ReadingI might have to stop visi …
I might have to stop visiting Sickipedia. It’s not that the wife moans about it, or that my boss keeps catching me on at work, or even the Americans. Its just depressing to already know the jokes from my favourite TV shows before I get round to watching them.
Continue ReadingI was going to ask out a …
I was going to ask out a girl who works un-feathering chickens, but I couldn’t pluck up the courage to ask.
Continue ReadingThe Dyslexic samurai warr …
The Dyslexic samurai warrior has a way with sword.
Continue ReadingEnjoying my morning glory …
Enjoying my morning glory this morning when my mum walked in and said ‘dont u think its time to get up’,i think i gave the wrong answer when i looked at her all seductively and replied ‘im already up darling’……….
Continue ReadingQ. What’s the difference …
Q. What’s the difference between an emo and a goth? A. What’s the point? You wouldn’t understand
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