What’s the trouble with B …
What’s the trouble with BNP football team? They’re all right wings.
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I’ve only just heard that …
I’ve only just heard that there’s an international “caps lock day”. I don’t know about you… but it just sounds like a load of shift to me.
Continue ReadingAlan Hansen once famously …
Alan Hansen once famously quoted that you “won’t win anything with kids.” Well, I beg to differ Alan, as my Best Young Goats in Show medal will testify.
Continue ReadingMy wife always did know h …
My wife always did know how to pack a suitcase perfectly. I even managed to squeeze her big head into it.
Continue ReadingWhat is the difference be …
What is the difference between the McCann household and an Ann Summers party? At an Ann Summers party, all the toys get played with.
Continue ReadingTheatres are getting chil …
Theatres are getting child actors in Panto as they cannot afford dwarfs. Some might say it’s a small price to pay.
Continue ReadingMy father was a traffic c …
My father was a traffic cop and always lived life to the limit… Never over the limit, always to the limit.
Continue ReadingI let loose my creative f …
I let loose my creative flair at the office today in the hope of promotion. All I got was a lecture from the fire brigade.
Continue ReadingI’ve started up a busines …
I’ve started up a business offering rides in Willie Wonker’s lift. Sales are going through the roof.
Continue ReadingScientists have announced …
Scientists have announced today that they have manage to grow meat in a laboratory…. my meat regularly grows outside my local primary school but I don’t feel the need to go to the papers.
Continue ReadingSo you try and help out b …
So you try and help out by sorting the kids a uniform during the summer holidays! But end up with a caution for asking staff at Ann Summers if they had a nurse,and french maid uniform for my 8,and 10 year old daughters.
Continue ReadingMy bank lets me send a te …
My bank lets me send a text message and it’ll text back with my balance. It’s a cool feature but I didn’t think the ‘LOL’ was necessary.
Continue ReadingIt really bugs me when pe …
It really bugs me when people use insect puns.
Continue ReadingI’m sick of all these stu …
I’m sick of all these stupid headlines. I should really buy some anti-wrinkle cream.
Continue ReadingAfter thirty years of won …
After thirty years of wondering why he didn’t look like his sister and brother Mark asked his mother if he had been adopted. ‘ Yes, ‘ she replied tearfully, ‘ but it didn’t work out so they sent you back. ‘
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