Author: qjoq.com

My mate just burst into my room while I was busy working and asked me what an electrical synapse in the human body was. The nerve.

Forrest Gump said that “life is like a box of chocolates”… but I think those chocolates are more like the kids at a school disco… The vast majority have nuts, and the ones that don’t are picked up and eaten out before anyone else gets a look in.

The wife served me divorce papers this morning, saying she hated being married to a Trigonometry teacher I told her I’d sine them later, cos shes always going off on her weird tangents

I hate it when I drink so much that I lose all sense of erection.

Never trust an acupuncturist. They’re all back-stabbers.

In an effort to conserve energy, my local council have told me that I need to turn off 50% of the lights in my pizzeria Theyr’e taking the pizz

I was next to Peter Crouch in the local takeaway yesterday,asking for 3 Kebabs and a portion of fries.”That’s a tall order”,i thought…