Author: qjoq.com

What kind of meat do Priests eat? Nun.

A Freudian slip is one where you say one thing but mean a mother.

I was walking down the street and a little, old lady said, “excuse me, duck.” So I said, “Yes love?” and that’s when a brick hit me in the head.

I was invited to a party the other day. On the invite it said, “Look Smart”. I turned up in a lab coat holding a test tube.

I was in the Gym the other day when I noticed someone struggling on the bench press. As I was standing near to him, he squeeked out to me ‘Can you spot me…’ He looked fairly unimpressed as he crawled out from underneath the bar after I had merely replied with ‘There you are’

I feel cheated now that my marker has wasted. It was supposed to be permanent…

Faulty car up for auction. Bidding will start at 99p. No reverse.

I have been trying to stop smoking for the past 20 years. I’m an anti-tobacco campaigner

My mother can be very cynical. The other day I told her I was going to open a Traditional Refurbished or Otherwise Used Battery Lamp Emporium. All she said to me was “that spells trouble”.