There’s a big hoohaa abou …
There’s a big hoohaa about cloned cows getting into the food chain. To be honest, being able to tell one steak from another is not high on my list of priorities.
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I’ve got no Faith in my b …
I’ve got no Faith in my broken George Michael CD.
Continue ReadingI went for a poo at pauls …
I went for a poo at pauls and all i got was this lousy black eye.
Continue ReadingMy father got up and anno …
My father got up and announced that he was engaged to be married yesterday. I was made up for him, but my sister broke down in tears and ran off, missing the rest of our mother’s funeral.
Continue ReadingThrough this sorry sordid …
Through this sorry sordid affair, let us not forget that John Terry has children and it’s them that I feel sorry for. Imagine growing up knowing you’ve inherit his looks.
Continue ReadingDoes anybody else think t …
Does anybody else think that ‘Facetime’ by Apple sounds like a weekly quota of oral?
Continue ReadingSuper dry. Ironically not …
Super dry. Ironically not waterproof
Continue ReadingI found a sweet little no …
I found a sweet little note from my wife in my lunchbox which read: ‘I’ll love you while you’re at work today.’ I’ve looked forward to coming home all day. Not sure where she is though, maybe she’s popped out for my dyslexia medication. And taken all her stuff with her.
Continue ReadingI went to a sad film at t …
I went to a sad film at the cinema last night, and the man behind me starting wailing. I got hit in the head with a harpoon.
Continue ReadingI’m useless when it comes …
I’m useless when it comes to talking to women, I get nervous and say the wrong things. For example, I’ll start off by saying, “Hi, I’m Kevin.” Which is weird because my name’s Dave.
Continue ReadingI was eating out my girlf …
I was eating out my girlfriend before when I thought: ” A bowl would be a lot easier.”
Continue Reading“You do not have to say a …
“You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence” “Please don’t hit me again, officer”
Continue ReadingMembers in the facebook g …
Members in the facebook group BAN SICKIPEDIA – 19 Members in the facebook group Sickipedia (sick jokes) – 1676 we win now delete your group!
Continue Reading“Officer, how can you say …
“Officer, how can you say I’m riding my quad bike dangerously?” I said. “There’s only four of us on it, as surely you’re not counting the baby?”
Continue ReadingOsama Bin Laden and I hav …
Osama Bin Laden and I have a lot in common. Neither one of us has done my history homework.
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