I’ve been getting into ca …
I’ve been getting into cars lately. I’ve realised it’s much more comfortable than sitting on the roof.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My daughter was suffering …
My daughter was suffering from severe back pain, so I fetched the medical book to see what it suggested. It said how getting my daughter into the ‘foetal position’ may help her. And that, your honour, is why I tried forcing my daughter back into my wife’s womb.
Continue ReadingIran has launched a rocke …
Iran has launched a rocket into orbit today carrying a rat… or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as he’s more commonly known.
Continue ReadingMy wife has a weight prob …
My wife has a weight problem. I’ve stacked all my dumbells on top of her.
Continue ReadingAccording to recent stati …
According to recent statistics, over one billion people in the world live in poverty. Must be a nice place to live, seeing as it’s so popular. I wonder where it is.
Continue ReadingI am in court today for s …
I am in court today for stealing a packet of Bisto from Tesco. My brief is claiming I was just stock taking. What a genius.
Continue ReadingThe chippy near ours has …
The chippy near ours has closed. Shame, they did a really nice leg of cod.
Continue ReadingYou know you’re poor when …
You know you’re poor when you have to check the price tags in Primark.
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to name my n …
I’ve decided to name my newborn baby boy ‘Twitter’ I just hope it doesn’t limit his character.
Continue ReadingI went up to this girl an …
I went up to this girl and said, “Do you come here often?”. She said, “Leave it out, Dad”.
Continue ReadingNo phrase sums up an orph …
No phrase sums up an orphanage open day more than “finders keepers, losers weepers”.
Continue ReadingYou know you,ve spent to …
You know you,ve spent to much time on the internet when you start reffering to things as ‘in real life’
Continue ReadingWhat txt has killed more …
What txt has killed more people than any other? sorry cant talk. I’m driving
Continue ReadingI was never around when m …
I was never around when my son was growing up but I’ve been trying to make it up to him recently. Well, he needs someone to look after him. There will be a lot of people trying to take advantage when they find out about his 127m lottery win.
Continue ReadingWent to see a show at the …
Went to see a show at the West End last week, it was Wicked.
Continue Reading