I’ve got my wife to start …
I’ve got my wife to start calling me Helicase in the bedroom. It’s because I can unzip her Genes easily.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Music : Ruins Babestation …
Music : Ruins Babestation.
Continue ReadingFollowing the explosion a …
Following the explosion at a factory in Lincolshire where 5 men were killed in what Police have described as an illegal alcohol factory, Police have raided another premises which has been manufacturing a cheap version of Carling. Police have told the public that they can recognise it by the label of “Fosters”
Continue ReadingJust finished my screenpl …
Just finished my screenplay about the life of Ireland’s most famous poet, I don’t mean to be arrogant but it’s got Oscar written all over it.
Continue ReadingDead. Carlsberg don’t do …
Dead. Carlsberg don’t do mother-in-laws…
Continue ReadingWoke up this morning and …
Woke up this morning and my joints were really stiff. I’ve only got myself to blame: I rolled them far too thick.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend just descri …
My girlfriend just described my posting of jokes on sickipedia as a ‘healthy phase’. I never realised that over time and with the experience of living with me it was possible to set the bar so low.
Continue ReadingA mate of mine has been h …
A mate of mine has been having a hard time recently, and has had to cut some of his staff off. Gandalf’s magic isn’t what it used to be anymore.
Continue ReadingYou’ve got to spend money …
You’ve got to spend money to make money. One of the biggest dilemmas for a Jew.
Continue ReadingPicked up a hot bit of st …
Picked up a hot bit of stuff last night. A take away vindaloo curry
Continue ReadingI wanted to work as a Wiz …
I wanted to work as a Wizard but I couldn’t get the staff.
Continue ReadingI thought my girlfriend w …
I thought my girlfriend would be furious when it took me nearly five hours to get to the hospital when she went into labour. I needn’t have worried though; she was dilated to see me.
Continue ReadingI got told by a tramp tha …
I got told by a tramp that I socialise too much. I said ‘you can’t talk, you’re out all the time’.
Continue ReadingMy wife has been constant …
My wife has been constantly nagging me to sign up to one of those social networking sites. I decided Twitter , knocked her clean out.
Continue ReadingMy first day in my new of …
My first day in my new office job didn’t go too well today. I think the main reason was they hadn’t actually offered me the job.
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