2 Birds, 1 Stone. Literal …
2 Birds, 1 Stone. Literally, I’m in court on the 25th.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
The wife is always under …
The wife is always under my feet It’s my fault for burying her beneath the floor.
Continue ReadingI’ve got yet another job …
I’ve got yet another job after having ten different ones this year. It’s at a local sperm bank…. I take it as they come.
Continue ReadingI love all the buried jok …
I love all the buried jokes on sickipedia, I am a necrophiliac though.
Continue ReadingApparently, you’re meant …
Apparently, you’re meant to call 999 if you’re being chased by someone. I recently discovered it doesn’t work to well if that someone is the police.
Continue ReadingSickipedia’s server About …
Sickipedia’s server About as stable as Heather Mills with termites (The first few times I tried posting this, I got the ‘lost connection to the database’ error. I think i’ve made my point.)
Continue ReadingAfter a series of crimes …
After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, chief inspector McTavish has announced that he’s looking for a man with one eye, if he doesn’t find him, he’s going to use both eyes.
Continue ReadingMy friend told me that he …
My friend told me that he thought I was addicted to Facebook. So I poked him and posted a status containing my dislike for him.
Continue ReadingThe funniest thing to do …
The funniest thing to do using Google+ Step 1. Randomly divide everyone you know into two seperate circles. Step 2. Post to circle 1 that you just got an awesome new job Step 3. Post to circle 2 that you just contracted some disease Step 4. Post to your extended circles the message: ‘Tomorrow is […]
Continue ReadingJust been to see my leper …
Just been to see my leper friend in hospital whos been self harming. He told me he’s been doing grate.
Continue ReadingSacked from my job as a p …
Sacked from my job as a primary school teacher, apparently adding a wet t-shirt contest to the school sports day was not acceptable..
Continue ReadingI bought two herb propaga …
I bought two herb propagators, but one of them’s broke. The Sage one’s fine, but the Basil’s faulty.
Continue ReadingI had a go at blackjack l …
I had a go at blackjack last night. We’re mates again now though..
Continue ReadingIronically, erectile dysf …
Ironically, erectile dysfunction can be hard to handle.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is like a H …
My girlfriend is like a Happy Meal. Small, cheap and greasy.
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