I like to tell my girlfri …
I like to tell my girlfriend she’s humorous. Its not that shes funny, just she’s a good bone
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I walked into Waterstones …
I walked into Waterstones and asked, “Do you have any books on ‘How to stop impulse buying’?” “Yes we do.” “Excellent. I’ll take seventeen copies please.”
Continue ReadingDoes anyone know any good …
Does anyone know any good sites where I could get ripped in 4 weeks?
Continue ReadingI used to love playing Hi …
I used to love playing Hide and go Seek with my watch, but I just can’t seem to find the time anymore.
Continue ReadingMy career as a moonwalk d …
My career as a moonwalk dancer isn’t going well. Bad case of one step forward, two steps back.
Continue ReadingGirls are like internet d …
Girls are like internet domain names. All the good ones are already taken, so I’m probably going to have to settle for one from a strange country.
Continue ReadingI poured my cat out some …
I poured my cat out some milk the other day Still don’t know how he got in there
Continue ReadingI like cooking babies and …
I like cooking babies and lots of other stuff but I hate punctuation
Continue ReadingI’m giving up spelling fo …
I’m giving up spelling for lunt.
Continue ReadingI’ve just raced two headl …
I’ve just raced two headless chickens… It was neck and neck.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me. “Have y …
My mate asked me. “Have you every played squash” I replied, “Yes, every time I get in the car with the wife”.
Continue ReadingA man with a whistle and …
A man with a whistle and a man with a football got on my train yesterday. It kicked off.
Continue ReadingMy neighbours are so inco …
My neighbours are so inconsiderate. They’re out, and for the last 2hrs I’ve had to listen to the incessant beeping of their smoke detector.
Continue ReadingI heard that drinking alo …
I heard that drinking alone is bad. So I got a cat.
Continue ReadingI went for an interview t …
I went for an interview the other day, The interviewer said, “Whats biggest accomplishment in your life” “Creating windows 7”, I replied. Try turning that down Currys.
Continue Reading