I just ate a midnight sna …
I just ate a midnight snack. One and a half after eights.
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I take my hat off to my b …
I take my hat off to my barber. Makes it easier for him to cut my hair.
Continue ReadingI’ve wanted to run away f …
I’ve wanted to run away from home recently because no one understands me. I hate my kids.
Continue ReadingThe average police woman’ …
The average police woman’s uniform costs around 250. But Ann Summers’ shops do a wipe-clean one for under twenty. So plod could save money and improve public relations in one stroke. I may even have a stroke or two myself.
Continue ReadingI was smiling and a Mexic …
I was smiling and a Mexican person called me a racist word That made my gringo
Continue Reading“It makes such a lovely c …
“It makes such a lovely change when you do the cooking” said my wife, tucking in to her dinner tonight. “Why, because it’s edible?” I replied.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Thousands of Po …
BBC News: Thousands of Pope tickets unsold I should think so! Never even heard of their music…
Continue ReadingThey say, ‘No news is goo …
They say, ‘No news is good news’. That’s why I cheered when I saw my paperboy get run over.
Continue ReadingA mother, cleaning her so …
A mother, cleaning her son’s room, finds an S&M magazine under the bed. Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband. “Well?” his wife asks. “What do you think we should do?” “I’m not sure,” the father replies. “But we certainly shouldn’t spank him.”
Continue ReadingI saw a notice in the loc …
I saw a notice in the local paper which read: “Accelerated Learning in Nursery Teaching” I couldn’t help thinking that they could have just called it a Crche Course.
Continue ReadingI watched a small horse d …
I watched a small horse do somersaults for 4 hours today, it was at that point i realised he was a one trick pony.
Continue ReadingI knew love once, it was …
I knew love once, it was a drag. Then again, it was dark and I couldn’t tell.
Continue Readingbeen getting some dirty l …
been getting some dirty looks recently because of the age gap between me and my 19 yr old girlfriend. i dont see the problem myself, we hve lots in common, for instance she’s into hip hop and im waiting to have one .
Continue ReadingMy dad beat my granny to …
My dad beat my granny to death, she died halfway through his funeral.
Continue ReadingI had my Xmas party at wo …
I had my Xmas party at work last night. I thought the boss would have at least taken us somewhere different.
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