Do they have a census for …
Do they have a census for animals? If they do I don’t think they would include sheep, imagine how hard it would be trying to stay awake
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
When does a woman care fo …
When does a woman care for a man’s company? When he owns it.
Continue ReadingGot caught falling asleep …
Got caught falling asleep in school the other day by the headmaster. Apparently, I am no longer allowed to teach anymore.
Continue ReadingMy mate fell over on my b …
My mate fell over on my boat the other day and was left hanging off the side He looked like a right plank
Continue Reading“Mummy, Mummy, can I get …
“Mummy, Mummy, can I get pregnant?” “Of course not, Susie, you’re only 7.” “Right lads, same again!”
Continue ReadingAll these kids in Africa, …
All these kids in Africa, no money for food but they must have lots of money for beer, they all have beer bellys
Continue Readingi’de like to say im , “do …
i’de like to say im , “down with the kids” but realistically there down on me.
Continue ReadingI’m involved in the illeg …
I’m involved in the illegal trading of large male deer. It’s big bucks.
Continue ReadingI hate it when my girlfri …
I hate it when my girlfriend is on her period. But the school is only across the road so I can still see her.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the Du …
Did you hear about the Dutch tap dancer? He fell off and clogged the drain.
Continue ReadingI bought a farewell card …
I bought a farewell card yesterday for 15p! It was a good buy.
Continue ReadingA friend of mine bet me 5 …
A friend of mine bet me 50 that I would not go into our local bank dressed as Father Christmas. It was a Santadare.
Continue ReadingI was hiking in the mount …
I was hiking in the mountains today, when I seen a guy sprinkling pink powder all around his garden. I asked him ‘What is that for?’ He then replied ‘It’s anti-bear powder, it keeps them away from my house.’ ‘But you live in England, there are no bears for thousands of miles!’ He replied ‘ […]
Continue ReadingAfter having a meal with …
After having a meal with my girlfriend, I offered to run her home. It’s the last time I do that, I was almost at a walk when I got there.
Continue ReadingOryza sativa: So good the …
Oryza sativa: So good they named it rice.
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