My former employer phoned me up the other day and said he really needed my expertise once again. They had a problem with one of their machines and they had tried everything possible to try and solve it, but to no avail. Reluctantly I took the job. I spent a whole day studying the problem. […]
Continue ReadingA girl gave me a fiver to see my snake, Anaconda, I kept her fiver.
Continue ReadingA Librarian walks into a bar and asks for a book on irony.
Continue ReadingI hope Alicia’s going to look after her Dad, now he’s unemployed.
Continue ReadingIf I had a nickel for everytime I put a cat in a toaster. I’d have, well, a nickel.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign on a tree today saying “BBQ here in half an hour”. It was only 4″ high. Short notice, I thought.
Continue ReadingMy mum is kicking me out of the house. She says its time for me to grow up, and stop living like I’m a teenager in the 90’s. What a mong…
Continue ReadingWhat did Kermit the frog say when he reached the top of Mount Everest? “Muppet!”
Continue ReadingWhenever my wife is baking, myself and the kids race to lick the bowl. It’s the only way you can get the taste out of your mouth.
Continue ReadingFacebook – doing everything it can to shift people to Google plus.
Continue ReadingI was rushing around like a mad thing and someone shouted “More haste, less speed.” I went to my dealer and he’d never heard of “haste”.
Continue ReadingTyphoo tea : Surely it should be named Typhoon. Now that really would be a storm in a teacup
Continue ReadingNo-one seems to remember the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not maketh up false commandments.
Continue ReadingBomb disposal experts can be really moody when they’re deactivating landmines. So if you approach one, tread carefully.
Continue ReadingToday I found a clue as to who planted all the ivy in my allotment, but I can’t work it out. Meanwhile, the plot thickens.
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