Just when I thought our w …
Just when I thought our wedding day couldn’t get any better, the mother in law died during our reception after she choked on some food. It was the icing on the cake.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Geometry is just plane fu …
Geometry is just plane fun!
Continue ReadingI’m delusional, or I thin …
I’m delusional, or I think I am anyway.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is a right …
My girlfriend is a right fox. She keeps rummaging through the neighbour’s bins.
Continue ReadingApparently women love a g …
Apparently women love a good scar on a man. However, they’re never impressed with the big red ring on my forearm after going deep into a pringle can.
Continue ReadingI bought a jacket from a …
I bought a jacket from a charity shop. The only thing wrong with it was one sleeve was slightly longer than the other two!
Continue ReadingI call my dog Dog. We don …
I call my dog Dog. We don’t have pet names.
Continue ReadingMy sister walked in with …
My sister walked in with a smile on her face holding hands with some bloke she had just met. She said, “Guess what mum, my date didn’t show up but it turned out for the best.” My mum asked, “Oh that’s nice hun, who’s the lucky guy?” I said, “The one that didn’t show.”
Continue ReadingI call my wife “The Bottl …
I call my wife “The Bottle”. She keeps wine in.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me I spend t …
My wife told me I spend too much time on facebook, so I poked her and liked her divorced status.
Continue ReadingOne day I would like to v …
One day I would like to visit the Artic circle. Or the wife’s side of the bed as its otherwise known.
Continue ReadingI was looking forward to …
I was looking forward to my birthday. My Dad said he had got me a train set. I opened it up and the box was empty. “Dad I thought you said that you had got me a train set?” “There’s a train strike.”
Continue ReadingWhenever I’m feeling blue …
Whenever I’m feeling blue, I start breathing again.
Continue ReadingI was arrested for sellin …
I was arrested for selling black market coolants. I’m currently freon bail.
Continue ReadingI really need to come up …
I really need to come up with a way of remembering which trig function to use when resolving forces on my mechanics paper, cos at the moment i have to draw the thing out!
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