I’ve just been sacked for …
I’ve just been sacked for reading out Sickipedia jokes at work. My boss should lighten up a bit, I mean the kids didn’t mind.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
It’s the last time I play …
It’s the last time I play poker with an origami expert. All he did was fold.
Continue Reading“If we don’t receive 30mi …
“If we don’t receive 30million in donations over the phone by 2am then kids all over the world will suffer.” No, not Children in Need, I’ve rounded up a few friends over the internet and we’ve begun taking hostages.
Continue ReadingNintendo managers have ha …
Nintendo managers have had a terrible year. They haven’t picked up enough coins, therefore will not get their bonus.
Continue ReadingI don’t need to spend a l …
I don’t need to spend a lot of money on a woman, just for her to tell me “You’ve had too much to drink!” The coppers do it for free.
Continue ReadingA centipede on drugs is w …
A centipede on drugs is walking in the jungle. There’s a twig in the ground and he trips, and he trips, and he trips, and he trips, and he trips…
Continue ReadingI was playing cricket the …
I was playing cricket the other day, and I missed the ball. I didn’t know what to do. I was stumped.
Continue ReadingToday, I found a WikiHow …
Today, I found a WikiHow article on how to be a secret agent. One of the tips was to alter your daily routine so anyone following you would be thrown off. I think tomorrow I’ll eat breakfast before getting dressed, just in case.
Continue ReadingI saw my friend slumped o …
I saw my friend slumped on the lawnmower today, crying his eyes out. He was just going through a rough patch.
Continue ReadingI saw a fire alarm today …
I saw a fire alarm today with a notice that read: ‘Push if you see fire or smoke’ I pushed it as I like the odd one when I have a drink.
Continue ReadingI had a friend who was a …
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Continue ReadingI’ve almost finished my f …
I’ve almost finished my fish-skin boots. All I need now is a sole and eel.
Continue ReadingIf I had a pound for ever …
If I had a pound for every stray dog I kept, I wouldn’t have to put them in the garden shed.
Continue ReadingMy wife has just ran off …
My wife has just ran off with a doctor from Prague. That’ll be what she meant every Thursday when she said she was going for a check up.
Continue Reading“Star banned from leaving …
“Star banned from leaving OZ” So you could say it’s like some sort of prison. Let the Old times Roll.
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