I met this amazing bloke today. It was spooky what he knew about me. I wondered if he had ever thought about doing this for a living like Derren Brown. I thought I would ask him after he had finished taking my fingerprints.
Continue ReadingMy wife always takes it out on the house whenever I make her angry. Today, I told her that I’d slept with her sister. She hit the roof.
Continue ReadingI hate arrogant anorexics, they just cant swallow their pride.
Continue ReadingI left school at 12, and loved it. All of the other schools didn’t finish until 3:30
Continue ReadingMany years from now, the troops are probably going to look back on their time in Iraq and wonder why they are still there.
Continue ReadingWhen Carol Vorderman got married she and her husband exchanged vowels.
Continue ReadingApparently Morrissey left the UK because he thought there were too many foreigners here. Not sure what he expected to find elsewhere.
Continue ReadingThe name for the head of the Indian Mafia is ‘Poppa Don’
Continue ReadingA Sickipedian walks into a library. The librarian says “Crack a joke and I’ll stab you!”
Continue ReadingEverybody knows that actions speak louder than words… unless you’re Stephen Hawking…
Continue ReadingMy friend Ian told me he favours one leg to the other. I said “You’ve got Olympian”
Continue ReadingI have to stay on the right side of my boss, not because he’s got a temper, he’s just deaf in his left ear.
Continue ReadingGeorge Michael walked into Boots and said to the pharmacist, “I’ve got these terrible spots all over my face, is there anything you can recommend to treat them?” So the pharmacist recommended a product and asked if it was okay and George replied, “no, can you recommend something else please? I don’t want your Freederm”.
Continue ReadingI see Sickipedia is being condemned in the news again for users posting Jokes about Liam Gill hours after his death. Even the media is complaining about database latency now.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s not talking to me because I won’t accept her as a friend on facebook. I’ve told her, the only people I accept as friends, are people I actually like.
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