For lent I’m giving up ab …
For lent I’m giving up abstaining and lending in the past tense.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I had some prawns the oth …
I had some prawns the other day that disagreed with me. To be honest, I really shouldn’t have been talking to them anyway.
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “I’ve start …
My wife said, “I’ve started reading a novel from the 167th page, and I’m convinced someone’s going to be brutally murdered.” I replied, “You’re reading too much into it.”
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an Arab …
What do you call an Arab who campaigns for adolescents? A pro-teen sheikh.
Continue ReadingI really pulled out all t …
I really pulled out all the stops when I was asked to write an essay on poor grammar
Continue ReadingI spent a week and a half …
I spent a week and a half staring at a black vinyl disc. I think that’s a record!
Continue ReadingI was in the bath the oth …
I was in the bath the other day and I thought, are ducks even yellow?
Continue ReadingIt was as I unpacked the …
It was as I unpacked the groceries into the kitchen cupboard, that I realised I had a roach problem. I’d forgotten to buy some rolling papers.
Continue ReadingA father is a man with pi …
A father is a man with pictures in his wallet where he used to keep his money when he was single
Continue ReadingDid anybody else know abo …
Did anybody else know about this live performance of ‘Green Street’?
Continue ReadingWhen I see an article tha …
When I see an article that shows a celebrity wearing the same outfit twice, I get furious and blow up a hospital
Continue ReadingSometimes I like to pop o …
Sometimes I like to pop over to the house opposite my pub.
Continue ReadingFirst thing this morning, …
First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has.
Continue ReadingWhere do Iranians kiss at …
Where do Iranians kiss at Christmas time? Under the missiletoe.
Continue ReadingMy disabled friend just t …
My disabled friend just told me that some of the things I’ve been saying about his condition show a lack of sensitivity. “Like your legs?” I replied.
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