Religion repulses me and …
Religion repulses me and I do everything possible to ensure the feeling is mutual.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My Junk Email: “Date Jewi …
My Junk Email: “Date Jewish Singles in your Area” “Please give to our charity!” They really need to figure out their target demographics.
Continue ReadingI haven’t used my eBook r …
I haven’t used my eBook reader for a while. Maybe it’s time to rekindle our relationship.
Continue ReadingTwo vital tools in life: …
Two vital tools in life: WD40 and Gaffa tape. When it doesn’t move and should, use the WD40; when it moves and shouldn’t, use the gaffa tape.
Continue ReadingAfter falling into seriou …
After falling into serious debt, I turned to Wonga… and blamed them.
Continue ReadingOptimistic : Optimus Prim …
Optimistic : Optimus Prime’s psychic brother.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it funny how the dw …
Isn’t it funny how the dwarf actors never get to play the big roles?
Continue ReadingI worked as a poolboy at …
I worked as a poolboy at a nudist colony but had to quit as it was too hard
Continue ReadingI just split up with my b …
I just split up with my blind, inflatable girlfriend.. She didn’t see it coming but at least I let her down gently.
Continue ReadingSeeing as it’s valentines …
Seeing as it’s valentines day, I’m going to take my baby somewhere expensive, then we will get hot and steamy later! That’s right I’m off to the petrol station then the car wash!
Continue ReadingMy daughter came home fro …
My daughter came home from school and told me she thinks she’ll be cleverer than her parents when she grows up. That’s my boy.
Continue ReadingI work as a waiter. The p …
I work as a waiter. The pay isn’t great but I put food on the table.
Continue ReadingI’m very disappointed wit …
I’m very disappointed with Marks and Spencer. I didn’t see any black women in underwear for sale in any of their departments.
Continue ReadingI used to work in an art …
I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists’ canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: “Can you please cut some canvas for me?” Me: “Certainly, what width?” Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) “Uh, Scissors?”
Continue ReadingAnyone want to buy some b …
Anyone want to buy some bargain tail lights? Before you ask… yes, I got them off the back of a lorry.
Continue Reading