Author: qjoq.com

Whenever the wife gets mouthy I hit her with a skate. It keeps her inline.

I said to a mate of mine, “Did you know that continental quilts keep you far warmer than conventional bedding?” He said, “Duvet really?”

I was going to tell my mate a story about the time I went to a race with no starting position. I didn’t know where to begin.

Packing for my holiday tomorrow: Shirts – check t-shirts – check shorts – check socks – check I really should diversify my wardrobe.

What’s orange and sticky? Fantastic.

Etc. A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

I’ve just heard that Norman Wisdom is dead. William the Conqueror must be turning in his grave…

If your looking for sympathy, you’ll find it in the dictionary between “so” and “what”.

I played a small role in a new film. I’m a dwarf.