I wouldn’t be where I am …
I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for my father. He gave me a lift to the pub.
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so animal rights activist …
so animal rights activist who believe all animals shouldnt be harmed want to murder a woman for putting a cat in a bin?
Continue ReadingMy mate gets really turne …
My mate gets really turned on when he see’s the hull of a ship. Well, whatever floats your boat.
Continue ReadingI was going to make a jok …
I was going to make a joke about stammering. But it’s a big no no.
Continue ReadingI just lost my job as a d …
I just lost my job as a doctor. This incredibly attractive girl had come in and said, “I’m not feeling myself”. Apparently, “mind if I have a go then?” is not an appropriate answer.
Continue ReadingO2 is the most unselfish …
O2 is the most unselfish lover ever. Its just gone down on the whole country.
Continue ReadingIt saddens me when people …
It saddens me when people forget the true meaning of Easter. Chocolate eggs.
Continue Reading“Do you like my new kilob …
“Do you like my new kilobyte?” “Not the slightest bit.”
Continue ReadingI went to to see a medium …
I went to to see a medium, but I was too early…. Apparently that’s quite rare.
Continue ReadingWent streaking in a bird …
Went streaking in a bird sanctuary at 6AM. Turns out the early bird really does catch the worm.
Continue Reading‘Hope you’re hungry’ A ki …
‘Hope you’re hungry’ A kind gesture in Britain; A cruel taunt in Sudan.
Continue ReadingI was sitting in my car w …
I was sitting in my car with my head in my hands this morning, when two young blokes approached me and asked if I was okay. “Not really” I replied, “My car won’t start and I’m going to be late for work.” “Would you like us to push you?” they asked. “That would be great” […]
Continue ReadingI am handsome, but this c …
I am handsome, but this characteristic of mine disappears due to light.
Continue ReadingLook! A stealth bomber! W …
Look! A stealth bomber! Where!?
Continue ReadingI was in Tesco’s earlier, …
I was in Tesco’s earlier, and I met a really stunning blonde lady. She had a great figure with curves in all the right places, so I invited her back to mine to look at my stamp collection. “Philately will get you nowhere”, she said.
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